Forgotten Yet Beloved
Ever feel forgotten? Unpopular? Overlooked? Like, if Hollywood made a movie out of your life, your character would end up as an extra?
The 1979 Datsun 280ZX can relate. In the Z-car family tree, where the 240Z is the trunk and the new 400ZX is a promising fresh shoot, the 280ZX is a thin and awkward branch that most car folks tend to forget about. It came as the official second generation Z and didn’t add anything good: a nicer stereo, a suspension lifted from the 810 sedan, and a twin fuel gauge (don’t ask). Compared to the 240Z from 1970, the 280ZX lost 15 horsepower – to 135 – and gained 600 pounds. People compared the 240Z’s looks to Ferrari, the low and menacing 1990 300ZX to Lamborghini, and the 280ZX to a duck.
In the history of overlooked Biblical characters, Leah evokes the most pity. She was overlooked by Jacob, who was infatuated with her more attractive sister, Rachel. Leah’s dad could only marry her off (to Jacob) by using trickery and deception, and after the marriage she was promptly ignored by her husband. But she wasn’t ignored by God:
“When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, ‘It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.’” Genesis 29:31-32. (Text note: “Reuben” sounds like the Hebrew for “he has seen my misery; the name means “see, a son.”)
Leah does this three more times. She gives birth to three sons, each with names that give testament to her struggle and her bitterness toward Jacob. By the way, Jacob doesn’t get the hint, and doesn’t seem to treat her any differently even after all of Leah’s effort. By that measure, Leah’s struggle was a waste of time. Jacob doesn’t get off the hook either; the wife he doesn’t love gave him the thing he desires the most, but he doesn’t seem to make any changes in the relationship.
Most problems don’t have easy fixes. A new baby can’t magically fix a strained relationship. Being unpopular or unloved doesn’t go away with better clothes, a better car, or drastic attention-getting behavior. Winning a fortune won’t make your depression or anxiety go away. Time and perspective haven’t gained the 280ZX masses of fans, and 135 horsepower still just isn’t a lot.
If you feel unloved by people, relationship experts would suggest that you have a right to your feelings. Yes, it’s an injustice. Leah should have been loved by Jacob, and the blame rests squarely on him, not Leah, Rachel, or any number of “closed” or “open” wombs. Nevertheless, even wrongfully injured parties have an opportunity to make a relationship work, and work toward the emotional intimacy that can lead to meaningful conversation and healing.
It’s not an easy fix, but writer and teacher Gary Thomas suggests embracing the difficulty and planning accordingly:
“Mountain climbers often step back from a particularly difficult overhang or stretch and discuss how to surmount it… Our relationships can be looked at the same way. Instead of immediately thinking about how we can take a helicopter to the top, we might take a climber’s approach and think, ‘This is really tough. This is a challenge, no doubt about it. How do I keep loving this person in the face of this challenge?”
When she gave birth to her third son, Leah named him Judah, saying “This time I will praise the Lord” (v. 35). Perhaps her story can inspire anyone else who feels neglected by fickle, easily distracted humans. Maybe everyone can take a step back from their relationship challenges, name their pain, and quietly praise God, who never forgets, ignores, or overlooks anybody.
By 1981, Datsun was becoming Nissan, and the 280ZX was becoming turbocharged. A 180-horsepower Turbo version began an irregular trend of turbocharged Z-cars, although it didn’t weigh any less or look any better. It may be overlooked by some, but not by the thousands of enthusiasts who own them and love them.
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